The Importance of Farewells

When we were growing up, Mom and Dad made sure we learned our manners and they were religiously enforced – more by my siblings and myself than by my parents actually. One of the things we were taught was to always greet people when coming in and always acknowledge people when leaving. This was standard procedure in our home so we were kept informed of each other’s goings and comings by greetings and salutations.

It wasn’t until I was much older that I realized how much of an impact that one little courtesy had on my life. One day a friend was visiting and at the end of our visit she just got up and left without saying anything more. It wasn’t that she was angry or upset or anything like that, though at the time I wasn’t so sure and I spent time wracking my brain to see if I had done something to offend her. After I got to know her and her family better I realized that it was just how they were. When it was time to go, they left! Needless to say, it took some getting used to for me.

What I didn’t realize at the time is that the courtesy of saying farewell, see you later, bye, peace – out, provided closure to our visits and there was something inside me that always needed that closure. In a sense, saying farewell meant to me that our time together had been acknowledged and appreciated; perhaps even that I had been acknowledged and appreciated. On some very primal level, that acknowledgement had a far deeper meaning than just the courtesy it embodied.

I’d had friends that insisted that I never say “Good bye.” For them that was too final so we would use other terms of parting. What that told me though was that acknowledging one’s departure was important, not just to me but to others as well. It told me that for some of us, what we say even is indicative of our future intentions. To say, “Later!” means something different than “Good bye.”

Maybe I’m wrong in thinking this, but I’d venture to say that most of us appreciate closure whether it’s temporary, like going to bed or away for the weekend or final like the death of a loved one. I haven’t figured out why it’s important; it’s more a feeling of importance than an actual fact. At the same time those who have not felt closure over one thing or another usually seem to have a nebulous sadness hanging over them. When, in some one way or another, they are able to come to terms with it, in some cases handling the farewell by proxy, the sadness disappears or at least diminishes.

Perhaps the most important farewell in my life is one I was not privy to witness. In fact, it happened centuries before my time. Yet still, for me, it is the most salient valediction because it means I am not alone even when I feel alone and somehow when I feel “invisible” around others, I still feel acknowledged and appreciated by One who always sees me. Before He left, He said, “…And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”